Posted in Dating, Family, life, parenting, relationships

Blending families

      It’s hard to believe that eight months have gone by since my last blog posts. Life sure does get away from you sometimes. I’m going to break this post into a couple of smaller posts to make it easier on you.

         My daughter and I moved in with J and his son around the end of February. It was a huge adjustment going from just me and her to a family with J & his son. People tell you blending families is hard, but they never tell you exactly how hard it is.

       N said he was good with us moving in, he asked if he could call me mom and seemed very happy. He was very proud to have a little sister and they acted as typical siblings. 

     A was having a much harder time adjusting. She was great until J asked her to stop, to not do something, or told her no. Then it was world war three. She would scream, god would she scream. I thought for sure the neighbors were going to call the police and have cps banging on our door. She would hit, kick, bite and say awful things. She saw J & N as a threat, as people who were taking me away from her, taking away her time with me. It didn’t help that I started working full time at an accounting office which meant she could no longer spend the day with me at work. 

      The apartment we were staying in started to feel claustrophobic, and  I was not feeling at home. It’s hard to explain but it’s impossible to feel at home in a home that was built by someone else. In a home you had no input in, that is full of someone else’s belongings. Most of mine and Lovebugs stuff was still at T’s as there was just not room for it in the apartment. 

     J & A were having constant power struggles, J & I were clashing on parenting and add in the close quarters and we were all tense and starting to feel it. N also started to show it; he began being spacey, ignoreing rules, not doing his chores, not turning in his homework. He seemed to simply not care about anything anymore and everyday he disappeared inside himself a bit more. 

         Lovebugs bio dad was being typical and only seeing her once a month still. T was suddenly very busy all the time; he moved in his girlfriend and was redoing the entire house. Our only saving grace was my mom and J’s sister who took the kids on Saturday night so J & I could reconnect and catch our breaths.  

         We knew something had to change and quick if we were going to make it thru this adjustment. No one ever said parenting was this hard!

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