Your parents are supposed to be the ones you can count on no matter what, but what if they fail you?
My parents have always been there & had my back 100% even if they didn’t like my choices. The more I get to know J’s family the more I am perplexed by the dynamic and confused.
J has never been close to his mom S and sister R and now I see why. R is totally spoiled. Her mom bought her dog, gave her a car, paid for her car to get fixed recently, her parents paid all her bills while she went to school and yet she constantly complains she is a single mom and gets no help and life is so hard.
She can do no wrong in her moms eyes. She is on a pedestal and J is expected to hold it up. They both think they are better than everyone and are very rude and sometimes downright mean; it’s why J’s dad said he left and why J keeps them at a distance.
I have treated them both with respect, like my family. I tried really hard to be there for R and be her friend despite her draining emotional instability and need to butt into my relation with J. I even overlooked her flat out being mean a few times.
S was really rude to me over the weekend when she came to town for my daughters birthday. She asked how she could help then argued for 20 minutes about putting the candy out on a desert table as I had planned instead of in bags for them to take home, she then refused to help.
Saturday morning I was sore and felt like crap because I overdid it, having done almost everything myself Friday night because J was working on her present. She apparently was mad because I didn’t tell her not to do the dishes because she was a guest and I didn’t tell her thank you for breakfast; she said N cooked so I thanked him. I started to decorate the cupcakes and she yelled at me to stop being stubborn, if I’m sick I’m going to contaminate the food and get everyone else sick and I need to delegate. I told her I wasn’t sick I was just sore and she yelled about how she got crushed by a car and is allergic to pain meds so she is in more pain than I could ever know and I don’t know what pain is.
J told her she was out of line and if she couldn’t be respectful she could leave. She told him she was going to apologize but instead lectured me for 20 minutes about how I’m selfish, don’t know how to parent, am ruining my daughter who is a brat and she won’t let me come between her and J because they are such a close family
R was mad she stayed with us Friday, and that she came down for My daughter party and therefore told R she wasn’t coming two weekends in a row so she should have her child’s party the same weekend. R said it was our fault because she had to move her child’s birthday and no one came. She left her cigarettes outside and it rained so that was J’s fault for not bringing them to her.
Yesterday at work R tried to tell me how I needed to parent and what my children need. Today at work R was being a rude, demanding I give her the passwords to everything and have her approve everything before I posted it. Our boss said the tension was too much and left for a bit. R flipped out on me; said that I think I’m perfect and I caused her to loose her best friend and brother, that twice our boss had wanted to fire me and I gave her an excuse and she let me stay. That all I do is f*** around in social media and get paid when she told me to do this and this. I pointed out our boss told me to do what I have been working on and that she, R, is not my boss. She yelled some more about I’m a b**** and selfish and gathered all her stuff and left.
I called our boss who came back. R came back and started crying about its so hard, and poor her being a single mom and she is so depressed because she has no one. S called me at work to yell at me about what a great job I’ve done ruining R’s job and relationship with J.
We had a meeting in which nothing was solved but our boss said to leave the personal stuff at the door. My hours were then changed to only 25 hours per week.
I’m feeling exhausted, hurt for J that they are his family, and very angryily biting my tongue out if respect for J.