What a crazy few days!!! It’s been an eye opening roller coaster for sure.
At the urging of a friend I joined tinder. I started chatting with and after a few weeks met Irish. After two weeks of dating and things seeming too good to be true he said he had to go go to San Antonio for PTSD treatment. He is active duty military so it didn’t seem odd to me at he time. I then received a text from him friend of his telling me he was struggling with K, the love of his life who died when they were in a car accident. He was pinned and watched her bleed to death when she was thrown from the car.
So Irish continued to text me telling me about K, what he was working on in therapy, and how he was doing. I continued to cheer him on.
Something in me was quietly saying that something was not right.
Because I’m a woman and curious I looked up his ex wife on Facebook to see what she looked like. I was a bit shocked when it said she still lived in town and not Florida as he had said. I was even more shocked to find they had moved into that house together in 2012 and she had changed her cover photo to one of him this past November. I thought maybe I was mistaken on when they had gotten a divorce, maybe she still wanted to be with him. Yet there was this feeling in the pit of my stomach.
So I created a fake Facebook profile based off one of his friends who had a public page and friend requested him. He accepted it instantly.
It was right there: married. He had also checked into multiple places the last few days in town. I was pissed, and in shock.
I felt sick as I drove to his house and waited for his wife to come home. I introduced myself to her and asked to speak to her about Irish, and told her we had been dating. Over the course of our 3 hour conversation I learned he had lied to me repeatedly. I confronted him via text, then in person side by side with his wife. She and I had lunch the next day and I learned even more of the lies he had told me.
Basically every word he had said to me starting after hello was a lie. He claimed he did have PTSD and was being treated in town, though his wife did not know about it, and that he was filing for a divorce. His wife had met him at 18 and never heard a word about K, or a car accident though oddly enough his cousins ex wife’s name is K and irish had been pinned in a car accident with his wife though she was not thrown from the car. We met privately that night as I demanded answers and he had none to give me. He said he wasn’t thinking, had not planned it out. He said I made him feel alive, and it was not meaningless.
Meanwhile he was telling his wife I was just a fling and he had no intention of staying in touch with me. He didn’t realize we were talking until she called him out on it. After a good nights sleep, and talking it out several times with a trusted friend or three the fog lifted and the emotions died. I was interested In who I thought he was and that person doesn’t exist. I texted him that I’m done and want nothing to do with him. That I forgive him because I’m not willing to carry this with me or allow it to hurt me. I told him I hope he really does get help, grow a pair and learn to be honest and stop effing with people’s emotions and life’s.
Update; A week later we learned about a girlfriend he has been seeing for a few months, oddly named K! And a few weeks after that we discovered yet another girl named C. While his wife and I have become Friends I have had no contact with him and am very glad that it’s not my drama.