Posted in Dating, life, relationships

Dating 

So I took the plunge and posted a dating ad. It was comical and entertaining. It’s how I met J so when he bailed out I thought I’d try again. I reposted the same ad. I’ve learned a few things and thought I’d share them.

First someone is out to get me. A friend suggested it’s J. Maybe someone doesn’t like my ad, or women who know what they want but in any case my ad keeps getting flagged and removed.

Apparently people who smoke pot do not consider it a drug. My ad said no drugs yet I have gotten multiple responses from guys who smoke pot.

You have to be VERY specific. Around my age apparently means 15 years older. I am not attracted to Hispanic men means as long as you don’t look Hispanic it’s okay. Please include a picture means send me a picture of your abs or your package. Single means as long as she doesn’t know. Please have a job means be a drug dealer, on unemployment or social security. I’d like to be friend first means send me a paragraph about yourself and let’s hook up tonite, or better skip the paragraph and let’s just hook up!

I’ve had men respond who have: 12 kids, asked if I could pick them up if they asked me on a date because they don’t have a car and one who lost his liscence for too many dui’s, have had their child taken away by cps, believe a woman should be his to use as he sees fit in bed, wanted to know if he could watch me with other men and one who was not comfortable with me living with my ex so would I move in with him while we were dating.

I have heard stories but thought that stuff only happened on tv!!

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Posted in life

WTF did I do?? 

   Some may ask why would I ever write about this but in all my searching I could not find anything but medical information and it’s something a ton of people have, they just don’t talk about it. 

      So when I had my daughter I got severe hemorrhoids. Like someone cut a golf ball into 4 pieces and glued them on me. I patiently waited for them to go away. I ate high fiber, lots of water… I did everything I was supposed to. The external ones went away but left a very large skin tag. 

  After 2 1/2 years I went to gastrointerologyst and had banding done which removed the internal ones. I still had a large skin tag which make wiping difficult, and it was embarrassing. So I was referred to a surgeon. 

     I was examined by a NP who confirmed it was a tag and explained it could be removed in the office. That I would be uncomfortable for a few days but it would be a quick and easy procedure. So we scheduled it. After some mix ups and rescheduling I had it done this morning. 

      Right now I’m rethinking if it was worth it. The dr was debating doing it in the office vs scheduling and doing it in the OR because it was so large. And afterward said had I not had a high pain threshold and been able to stay so still she would not have been able to complete it all in one appointment, and she would not be doing one this large in the office again. 

After some researching I learned having it done in the er means it can be cauterize and is a faster healing process with less bleeding. Being done in the office I was just sutured. 

Day 1; Friday

The nitty gritty: how it’s done.              The was a padded piece that pulled out of the table to kneel on and my upper body laid on the top of the table. The entire table them raised and tipped forward so I was basically in a doggy style position with me head lower than my butt. They used tape on each side of my butt to tape my cheeks to the sides of the table. The area is cleaned with iodine, then injections of lidocaine are given. I got like 7. They are painful to say the least. It feels like a wasp sting, an incrediabley intense, burning sensation. I focused on breathing thru clenched teeth while  groaning with each one. Then you are blissfully numb. She removed the skin tag and I got 5 sutures. She cleaned me up and gave me more wet pads to clean up my front as I was quite messy.she gave me a prescription for Percocet and scheduled a follow up in one month. 

Go straight to the pharmacy and fill it, wait while they do so and take it immediately!! I did not. I dropped it off, got some food and went home. The lidocaine started to wear off, I took Ibprofin as she said to alternate it with Tylenol and Percocet. I sat on an ice pack. Once it began to wear off it did so very quickly. I was in a lot of pain, to the point that I was in tears. It hurt to move, to sit, to stand, I could not relax enough to go pee. It was worse than after having a baby, having my gallbladder out, worse than anything I have ever experienced. 

     H was coming over to visit love bug so I convinced him to pick up my prescription and sat on the couch crying. I called the Dr  who sympathetically reminded me to ice continuously and layer pain Meds, to take a warm shower to try and relax my body so I could pee. She also said to get some stool softners. 

      So two hours later I’m sitting in the recliner using a perinatal ice pack (I saved a few when lovebug was born) and I’m comfortable. I’m still in pain but it’s manageable so long as I don’t move. 

       So the rest of the evening was manageable until bed time. I showered and the warm water let me finally go pee however it burned my sutures. If you are are a female know that the muscles relaxing after you pee jolts your rectum and it’s not exactly painful as it is intense and jolting! Laying down was excruciatingly painful. The pressure of being upright eases the pain so I would have loved to have slept in the recliner but my daughter is sick. I wedged an ice pack in there and laid down but after an hour had to get up as the pain was too much. I got in the shower so I could pee, then fought passing out for about 20 minutes before finally vomiting. 

      Exhausted I wedged a new ice pack and laid flat on my back wedging a firm pillow under my legs against my bottom to apply pressure. 

Days 2 & 3, 

    So I got about 4 hours of sleep, before waking up with my bottom and thighs numb from the position I was in. I got up to let the dogs out and laid back down. However the numbness was quickly gone and I was in too much pain to lay down. I took a percoset, a Tylenol and sat in the recliner on an ice pack. I threw up all my breakfast. And think it’s the ibprofin with not enough heavy food so going to stop taking it. I spent pretty much all  day sitting and discovered a few tricks; roll up some wash clothes, wet and freeze them. Pop them in a ziploc and they fit much better than ice packs. Also give up on pants. I covered the recliner in a towel and went bottomless; it’s much easier to get situated with the ice in the right place and more comfortable. Plan ahead for your children for a few days and have a backup! My mom is really sick and T was gone all day so I was completely on my own with a sick child who wanted to be held and didn’t understand why I couldn’t sit on the floor to play. I didn’t take any medication except Tylenol all day. I was able to pee on the toilet. 

That night I laid on my side with a ice pack and a pillow folded in half against my bottom. I slept great but woke up every 4 hours or so to Take more Percocet. 

Sunday, day 3 was not much different. I sat on ice most of the day and stuck to Tylenol. I had to force myself to eat and fight back nausea ESP in the morning when I first got up. I have not had a bowl movement and am terrified to as some gas caused bleeding and awful pain/spasms. I have not been able to do sitz baths as its too uncomfortable to sit in the tub and cold is more appealing  than warm. After a good day I was hopeful but woke up about every three hours with my butt on fire and In awful pain. 

Day 4 & 5,

   Monday was a little rough, I was pretty tired and feeling a lot of pressure as if I needed to go to the bathroom but was unable to relax and go and was scared to push at all. I ventured out to the store for tea bags and was exhausted and throbbing when I got home and needed Percocet. Wear a pad if you are wearing clothes or venturing out! Sutures leak as they heal and being active increases bleeding! That night was the worst yet. Every time I started to doze off I had muscle spasms; I can’t even begin to explain how much they hurt! I had the most intense burning thus far and woke up about every 2 hours in so much pain I was scared to move. 

Tuesday was an experience! I was feeling uncomfortable and needed to go to the bathroom so I drank some coffee. I had been skipping doing so and sticking to a liquid/soft food diet to delay going: don’t do this!!!! It just piles up and you have to go more. Also start stool softners a few days before your procedure! When I felt ready I covered my ass in coconut oil hoping to lubricate my sutures and help things not stick. I had a very hard time going and only produced two marbles which cause mass pain to the point that I passed out and busted a stitch. A shower and Percocet with additional Tylenol later I ran to the bank with my butt on fire. When I got home I had to go really bad. This time I sprayed some dermaplast on my bottom to numb it and used a hot washcloth pressed against my sutures. It wasn’t really painful as much as there was a lot of pressure. I felt great after and hopped in the shower. I did have several blood clots and a lot of blood, a lot. The dr said its all normal, wrote me a second prescription for Percocet as well as a muscle relaxer to help with the spasms. Both times I went to the restroom it was hard as the stool softners had not affected that part yet hence the suggestion to start it before your procedure. I did have to go a third time which was very soft yet a lot so I kept tensing up with fear of pain. I finally got in a caveman position and put my feet on the toilet seat and squatted. Ther was some intense burning after but no pain. 

That night I took a muscle relaxer and a Percocet which I only suggest if you want to go to sleep as I was out cold a very short time later. I woke up about every 4-41/2 hours to take another Percocet for the burning. I slept great and was comfortable!

Wednesday: day 6

I woke up feeling refreshed and great! I only had a small about of burning when I sit/stand. I took lovebug to a friend’s for a play date and had some mild throbbing which Ibprofin took care of. I easily had a bowl movement with no pain other than slight burning after. I’m feeling very optimistic!