Last week I started a new nanny job for a work from home mom who has a 4 yr old and a 2 mo old. She said she choose to work from home because she wanted to be a part of the noise and caos. However after 4 days on the job she announced “this isn’t working, I’m not getting any work done” because my bored 3 yr old (she decided to leave her 4 yr old in preschool all day) was too noisy while playing.
Prior to that while on vacation my grandmother said multiple times that my daughter was a bad girl, a brat and needed a spanking for being loud and opinionated.
This got me thinking what started the mind thought of children should be seen and not heard? Why is having a strong willed, boisterous child seen as bad?
Children learn thru play. Play involves make believe monsters that need to be run from while shrieking, drums that need to be banged on, microphones that need to be sang into, and laughter. Lots of loud laughter.
I want my daughter to feel important and that she matters so I let her speak her thoughts and tell me when she doesn’t agree with something or like something. I let her voice her anger and frustration and scream with excitement.
By telling a child to be quiet, to not to talk back, argue or voice their emotions is telling them they do not have value, they do not matter, they are not an equal being because of their smaller size. And it’s teaching them to be emotionally handicapped, unable to show or voice their emotions but to instead bottle it up, lock it away and we all know that one day it will explode.