Posted in friends, parenting

Wanted New best friend

31yr old married full time mom seeks like minded individuals or couples.  Must be adventurous, available for play dates and coffee, not afraid of bodily fluids or a messy house. If you have showered, done your hair and makeup every day this week you need not apply.

What is it about announcing “I’m pregnant” that makes your friends scatter like roaches when the light are turned on. Sure at first there are lots of congrats and I’m happy for you’s. But slowly as they realize you aren’t going to take them up on their invitations of dancing till the wee hours of the morning or drinking till the sun comes up they stop calling.Their idea of fun is not listening to the baby on that cool gizmo you bought on eBay, talking about babies poop or marveling at their latest milestone.

You quickly find that you are on a different level than everyone you know. Your friends either have older children and have moved out of the baby phase into T ball, dance classes or are not yet there and are still of the lets party mindset. Your husband, bless his heart, no matter how hard he tries just cant fill the gap left by girlfriends.

The first few month fly by consumed with caring for your new little person, trying to remember things like brushing your teeth, putting on deodorant and putting your boob away before opening your front door. Then as you settle into a routine you find yourself alone, talking to the baby, who doesn’t understand you, so really you are talking to yourself all day. And this gets rather lonely.

Where are all the other new moms? You saw tons of them when you were pregnant, everywhere you went were round baby bellies and little people. My solution….I have decided to run a personal ad. Its rather simple, what I’m looking for. If you have a child under a year old, are the primary care provider for said child, and if your child is attached to your hip or you often feel like a milk cow then we should talk. If you have a nanny, let your child cry it out, have a house keeper, have managed to shower, fix your hair and put on makeup  every day this week then I’m probably not your cup of tea.

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